What has Isabella’s diabetes done for me lately? Well, it’s turned me into a cesspool of trivia, for one thing. I can spout off facts about things most people never give any thought to. Useful? Maybe not. But in my fantasy life, all that minutia could translate into big bucks, given the right situation.
Such as … say, an appearance on a certain game show?
(Cue theme music.)
Alex Trebec: Good morning. Today’s contestants are a homemaker from Memphis, Tennessee, a writer from Chicago, Illinois, and the owner of a diabetic cat, from San Jose, California. Welcome everyone. Now, let’s play JEOPARDY. Writer will start us off.
Writer: I’d like “Pancreas Facts” for $100
Alex: The answer is: “The hormone that lowers blood sugar levels.” Cat Owner?
Cat Owner: What is insulin?
Alex: Correct for $100. Your choice of category?
Cat Owner: I’ll take “Neurology” for $400.
Alex: The answer is: “The neurologically-active form of a common vitamin, sometimes used in mega-doses to treat neuropathy.” Cat Owner, you’re first on the buzzer.
Cat Owner: What is Methyl B-12?
Alex: That’s right! You’ve got $500 and you can choose the next category.
Cat Owner: OK, let’s try “Diet Fads” for $500
Alex: The answer is “This popular low-carb diet has been adapted as a species-appropriate diet for felines.” Homemaker, you’re first.
Homemaker: What is The Zone?
Alex: Nooo, I’m sorry. You’ve moved into negative territory. Cat Owner?
Cat Owner: What is Atkins, or “catkins?”
Alex: Right again! You’re firmly in the lead with $1000. And we have time for one more question. Cat Owner, the category, please.
Cat Owner: Let’s go back to “Pancreas Facts” for $500
Alex: And it’s a Daily Double. Cat Owner, you can wager up to $1000.
Cat Owner: Let’s make it a true Daily Double, Alex. I’ll bet the whole $1000.
Alex: And the answer is: “These clusters of cells scattered throughout the pancreas are responsible for the organ’s endocrine functions.”
Cat Owner: What are … Islets of Langerhans?
Alex: Correct! Congratulations, Cat Owner. Your winning total is $2000 and you’ll be invited back for our Tournament of Champions in the spring. Writer, Homemaker, you had a formidable opponent today, and I thank you for playing.
(Camera fades as musical theme plays.)
Such as … say, an appearance on a certain game show?
(Cue theme music.)
Alex Trebec: Good morning. Today’s contestants are a homemaker from Memphis, Tennessee, a writer from Chicago, Illinois, and the owner of a diabetic cat, from San Jose, California. Welcome everyone. Now, let’s play JEOPARDY. Writer will start us off.
Writer: I’d like “Pancreas Facts” for $100
Alex: The answer is: “The hormone that lowers blood sugar levels.” Cat Owner?
Cat Owner: What is insulin?
Alex: Correct for $100. Your choice of category?
Cat Owner: I’ll take “Neurology” for $400.
Alex: The answer is: “The neurologically-active form of a common vitamin, sometimes used in mega-doses to treat neuropathy.” Cat Owner, you’re first on the buzzer.
Cat Owner: What is Methyl B-12?
Alex: That’s right! You’ve got $500 and you can choose the next category.
Cat Owner: OK, let’s try “Diet Fads” for $500
Alex: The answer is “This popular low-carb diet has been adapted as a species-appropriate diet for felines.” Homemaker, you’re first.
Homemaker: What is The Zone?
Alex: Nooo, I’m sorry. You’ve moved into negative territory. Cat Owner?
Cat Owner: What is Atkins, or “catkins?”
Alex: Right again! You’re firmly in the lead with $1000. And we have time for one more question. Cat Owner, the category, please.
Cat Owner: Let’s go back to “Pancreas Facts” for $500
Alex: And it’s a Daily Double. Cat Owner, you can wager up to $1000.
Cat Owner: Let’s make it a true Daily Double, Alex. I’ll bet the whole $1000.
Alex: And the answer is: “These clusters of cells scattered throughout the pancreas are responsible for the organ’s endocrine functions.”
Cat Owner: What are … Islets of Langerhans?
Alex: Correct! Congratulations, Cat Owner. Your winning total is $2000 and you’ll be invited back for our Tournament of Champions in the spring. Writer, Homemaker, you had a formidable opponent today, and I thank you for playing.
(Camera fades as musical theme plays.)
1 comment:
hilarious! I just stumbled upon your blog. As a type 1 diabetic, I gotta say it's a lot of work. Isabella is lucky you're here mama. She could have a much worse fate if someone else was caring for her without your patience and care. :)
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