I got a consumer survey in the mail yesterday. I’m a sucker for surveys. Those guys call on the phone? I’ll talk to them. Survey in the mail? I’ll complete it and return it. I’m the perfect target for marketing people who want data.
I opened the survey and searched carefully though all the bits of paper in the envelope, Sometimes there’s cash in there, as an incentive. No greenbacks in this one, just vague promises of “valuable coupons” and a chance to win $500. I know it’s dodgy, but like I said, I’m a sucker for this stuff.
Settling in at the kitchen table, I spread the survey form open in front of me. Then, damn it, went in search of my reading glasses. OK. They want to know if I buy various types of products (Air freshener? Denture cream?) and how often. Sometimes, the folks behind this want to know about specific brands. All in all, it’s a bunch of check boxes and not too much strain on my brain. I grab a pen.
Isabella, sensing that my attention had shifted away from her, hopped up on the table to rectify that. She laid full out on the survey. Purrs. Head butts. Annoyance! I worked around her as best I could until even she didn’t care what I paid attention to and she left.
Oh – look there! Does anyone in the household suffer from diabetes? There’s a column for “you” and a column for “others in house.” I check “others.” What type of diabetes? Well, Isabella is probably Type II, but if I’m going to get coupons in the mail, I don’t want them to be for stuff like glipizide, so I check Type I. I indicate that she takes insulin “2 or more times per day” and uses a meter “Other” than AccuCheck or OneTouch. Sweet. Bring on the money-saving coupons! How about a lifetime supply of strips? Oh yeah, I’d switch meter brands in a heartbeat for a lifetime supply of strips.
Finishing up, I fill out a bit of demographic information. I’m single, no kids, and I live alone. Uh oh. Do you suppose the folks at Survey Central will notice the discrepancy? I live alone, and yet “others” have diabetes. Can’t go back and change it, I used a pen. Next question: Do I have pets? Ah! Yes, indeed. I check “cat” confident that if I’m ever called before the Survey Ethics Committee I can point out that my cat is an “other” in my household.
Done. I seal the survey in the return envelope and put it out for the morning mail. Now I’m just hoping for some free strips.
I opened the survey and searched carefully though all the bits of paper in the envelope, Sometimes there’s cash in there, as an incentive. No greenbacks in this one, just vague promises of “valuable coupons” and a chance to win $500. I know it’s dodgy, but like I said, I’m a sucker for this stuff.
Settling in at the kitchen table, I spread the survey form open in front of me. Then, damn it, went in search of my reading glasses. OK. They want to know if I buy various types of products (Air freshener? Denture cream?) and how often. Sometimes, the folks behind this want to know about specific brands. All in all, it’s a bunch of check boxes and not too much strain on my brain. I grab a pen.
Isabella, sensing that my attention had shifted away from her, hopped up on the table to rectify that. She laid full out on the survey. Purrs. Head butts. Annoyance! I worked around her as best I could until even she didn’t care what I paid attention to and she left.
Oh – look there! Does anyone in the household suffer from diabetes? There’s a column for “you” and a column for “others in house.” I check “others.” What type of diabetes? Well, Isabella is probably Type II, but if I’m going to get coupons in the mail, I don’t want them to be for stuff like glipizide, so I check Type I. I indicate that she takes insulin “2 or more times per day” and uses a meter “Other” than AccuCheck or OneTouch. Sweet. Bring on the money-saving coupons! How about a lifetime supply of strips? Oh yeah, I’d switch meter brands in a heartbeat for a lifetime supply of strips.
Finishing up, I fill out a bit of demographic information. I’m single, no kids, and I live alone. Uh oh. Do you suppose the folks at Survey Central will notice the discrepancy? I live alone, and yet “others” have diabetes. Can’t go back and change it, I used a pen. Next question: Do I have pets? Ah! Yes, indeed. I check “cat” confident that if I’m ever called before the Survey Ethics Committee I can point out that my cat is an “other” in my household.
Done. I seal the survey in the return envelope and put it out for the morning mail. Now I’m just hoping for some free strips.
1 comment:
Wow! I totally know how you feel! My experience purchasing test strips for the first time was classic! They asked me if I'd be testing myself at home.... I said "I don't have diabetes. I'm testing my cat." My order never arrived.... and when I called back, they said they thought I was some weird person who liked to torture my cat!!!!!! I asked them to visit felinediabetes.com. My strips arrived three days later.
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