You’d think after all this time treating Isabella’s darn diabetes, that I’d be able to separate my ego from her blood sugar. You’d think that regardless of the number her meter spits out I could dispassionately respond with an appropriate insulin dose. You’d think I’d be over wanting her to be regulated or wishing she needed only a tiny little bit of insulin. You’d think that I’d stop, already, with the internal competition I’ve set up with the other diabetic cats.
You’d think, but you’d be wrong.
Somehow, Isabella’s diabetes has become my diabetes and the other cats are the yardstick I use to measure how well I’m doing. Never mind that every cat responds differently to insulin, food, and other factors – if one cat only needs 7/10 unit per dose, then Isabella should need only 6/10. If another cat goes 37 hours without a shot, then Isabella should go 48.
Makes sense, right? My cat is better than your cat, and I’m better than you. Right?
Nope. Not so much.
My cat is her own little furry enigma and I’m no better than anybody and probably a lot worse than most. If I have to beat something, it should be the diabetes itself, not the other cats. At first, it was like that: me against the disease (with the hapless Isabella stuck – literally! - in the middle). I was sure I could win. I was sure my cat would go into remission. But after months and months, I had to bow in defeat to her lazy pancreas and find another way to feel like a winner.
And so it began, my secret competition with the other diabetic kitties. There are dozens of competitors on the Feline Diabetes Message Board, all unwittingly providing me with hundreds of ways to win every single day. You cat’s BG was 312 this morning? Hah - Mine was 311! Your cat went to 42 with no symptoms? Sucker! My cat got as low as 37 and didn’t bat an eyelash. You had to shoot 2 units? Too bad - my awesome cat only needed 1.6 units. This is all I need to draw the mantle of victory around my shoulders.
I know it’s sad. Pathetic, really. But the knowing doesn’t stifle my idiotic need to win a race that no one else is even running. At least I'm smart enough that I don't publicly post my gleeful retorts ... so far, anyway. But be forewarned: if you publish your cat’s diabetes information on FDMB, I’m gonna beat you!
You’d think, but you’d be wrong.
Somehow, Isabella’s diabetes has become my diabetes and the other cats are the yardstick I use to measure how well I’m doing. Never mind that every cat responds differently to insulin, food, and other factors – if one cat only needs 7/10 unit per dose, then Isabella should need only 6/10. If another cat goes 37 hours without a shot, then Isabella should go 48.
Makes sense, right? My cat is better than your cat, and I’m better than you. Right?
Nope. Not so much.
My cat is her own little furry enigma and I’m no better than anybody and probably a lot worse than most. If I have to beat something, it should be the diabetes itself, not the other cats. At first, it was like that: me against the disease (with the hapless Isabella stuck – literally! - in the middle). I was sure I could win. I was sure my cat would go into remission. But after months and months, I had to bow in defeat to her lazy pancreas and find another way to feel like a winner.
And so it began, my secret competition with the other diabetic kitties. There are dozens of competitors on the Feline Diabetes Message Board, all unwittingly providing me with hundreds of ways to win every single day. You cat’s BG was 312 this morning? Hah - Mine was 311! Your cat went to 42 with no symptoms? Sucker! My cat got as low as 37 and didn’t bat an eyelash. You had to shoot 2 units? Too bad - my awesome cat only needed 1.6 units. This is all I need to draw the mantle of victory around my shoulders.
I know it’s sad. Pathetic, really. But the knowing doesn’t stifle my idiotic need to win a race that no one else is even running. At least I'm smart enough that I don't publicly post my gleeful retorts ... so far, anyway. But be forewarned: if you publish your cat’s diabetes information on FDMB, I’m gonna beat you!
3 comments:
I truly believe that you are absolutely coocoo. But being your brother makes it seem ok.
yeah, right.
i wish we all knew the answer to this.
one good thing about the board is the acrokitty. summa dose suckers need 17u at a time.
so you can always feel good about your doses.
sorry--the above was said with a smile, not with an evil grin! :^)
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