Like many things, feline diabetes comes with its own lingo - words and phrases that might be confusing to strangers but make diabetic cat owners nod knowingly or laugh out loud. I've taken a stab at compiling a list of these words along with definitions. Did I miss anything?
Baileys scale: A guide to how many shots of Baileys Irish Cream it will take to cope with the cat's antics, ranging from one shot for a normal day to the whole bottle - for those times when... well, you can read it yourself. (A tip of the hat to Jenn, who devised the scale, and to Chris, who taught all of us that there is no apostrophe in Baileys.)
BAM!: Straight-in injection method used with short needles. No "tenting" of the cat's skin - just a direct stab-and-go.
Bean: Human being / cat owner. The cat's having a good day; her bean, on the other hand, is a wreck.
BGPs: Short for Big Girl Panties. A phrase used to encourage owners to stop being scared about making a change to their cat's therapy - more insulin, less insulin, new insulin ... whatever. Put on the BGPs and raise his dose.
Cauliflower ear: The dreaded result of poking the cat in the ear too many times. There are no actual documented cases of cauliflower ear; it's just one more thing for diabetic cat owner to torture themselves about.
Fur shot: Insulin injection that somehow ends up on the outside of the cat rather than on the inside. Grrrrrrrr.
Gusher: An ear poke that hits directly on the vein producing a nearly unstoppable flow of blood. Especially messy when cat shakes its head or runs freely around the house, trailing blood in its wake.
Honeymoon: The much hoped-for revival of the insulin-producing capabilities of the kitty's pancreas, eliminating the need for injected insulin. Can be elusive, and signs of the cat packing its bags for a honeymoon trip are spoken of in whispers with liberal application of anti-jinx. AKA "da fallz:"
Insulate: To inject insulin. Isabella's blood glucose was 237, so I insulated her with 1.6 units.
Kitty crack: Dry food. Much craved by many diabetic cats to a degree that mimics an illicit street drug.
Shoot the cat: Give insulin injection. As in: I've gotta get going; it's time to shoot the cat. Usually gets a double-take from outsiders.
Tunarita: Low carb drink for diabetic cats, used for celebrating low blood sugars (fictitious, of course). As in: Tunaritas all around! Isabella is at 93 today.
Vampire Club: A members-only organization for diabetic cat owners who have successfully gotten blood from their cat for a blood glucose test.
Baileys scale: A guide to how many shots of Baileys Irish Cream it will take to cope with the cat's antics, ranging from one shot for a normal day to the whole bottle - for those times when... well, you can read it yourself. (A tip of the hat to Jenn, who devised the scale, and to Chris, who taught all of us that there is no apostrophe in Baileys.)
BAM!: Straight-in injection method used with short needles. No "tenting" of the cat's skin - just a direct stab-and-go.
Bean: Human being / cat owner. The cat's having a good day; her bean, on the other hand, is a wreck.
BGPs: Short for Big Girl Panties. A phrase used to encourage owners to stop being scared about making a change to their cat's therapy - more insulin, less insulin, new insulin ... whatever. Put on the BGPs and raise his dose.
Cauliflower ear: The dreaded result of poking the cat in the ear too many times. There are no actual documented cases of cauliflower ear; it's just one more thing for diabetic cat owner to torture themselves about.
Fur shot: Insulin injection that somehow ends up on the outside of the cat rather than on the inside. Grrrrrrrr.
Gusher: An ear poke that hits directly on the vein producing a nearly unstoppable flow of blood. Especially messy when cat shakes its head or runs freely around the house, trailing blood in its wake.
Honeymoon: The much hoped-for revival of the insulin-producing capabilities of the kitty's pancreas, eliminating the need for injected insulin. Can be elusive, and signs of the cat packing its bags for a honeymoon trip are spoken of in whispers with liberal application of anti-jinx. AKA "da fallz:"
Insulate: To inject insulin. Isabella's blood glucose was 237, so I insulated her with 1.6 units.
Kitty crack: Dry food. Much craved by many diabetic cats to a degree that mimics an illicit street drug.
Shoot the cat: Give insulin injection. As in: I've gotta get going; it's time to shoot the cat. Usually gets a double-take from outsiders.
Tunarita: Low carb drink for diabetic cats, used for celebrating low blood sugars (fictitious, of course). As in: Tunaritas all around! Isabella is at 93 today.
Vampire Club: A members-only organization for diabetic cat owners who have successfully gotten blood from their cat for a blood glucose test.
2 comments:
This post gave me my first laugh all week -- my furbabe is going on day 5 in the clinic, newly diagnosed, and I live on disability. Psych disability. This is going to be some journey. Glad you're around, I'm about to blogroll this delightful find.
will i forever be known as the one who said there's no apostrophe in baileys, or am i "insulated" from that fate? :)
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